February 3, 2008 * 3rd Lesson
I was 13 or 14 when I was rushed to the Jewish General Hospital in Montreal, for what my parents thought was appendicitis. It was not. Rather, it was another night of razor-sharp stomach cramps resulting from incessant anxiety. Some might say the cramps were all “in my head“. The cause? Most probably bullying.
At 39 the cramps are gone, but the hypervigilance and fear remains. Only the triggers change. One day it’s the kippah on my head that might ignite the ire of an antisemite. Another day it’s the “wrong place at the wrong time” concern while walking past any number of alleyways in Toronto or Vancouver.
And so today, like the past two Sundays, I show up for my boxing lesson. I marvel as I push my body further and further, causing beads of sweat to drip down my face, creating a puddle on the floor. The puddle is a sacrifice for all the years of cowering, hiding, and making nice.
I dedicate this post to my instructor for pushing me, emotionally and physically, and being the catalyst for healthier cramps.
February 4, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I think those who experience this deal with it in their own ways…. tho not buliied per se (it still wasn’t cool to hit a girl in the 70s) I was teased, had pennies thrown at me, etc. I developed deflection techniques using humour.
I’m sorry I missed class 3!! What did we learn? Are you on facebook? I’ve started an “Ossington Skipping Club” so we can start skipping outdoors in the spring.
Hi Avrum!
February 4, 2008 at 7:31 pm
>>I think those who experience this deal with it in their own ways….
Very true.
>>I was teased, had pennies thrown at me, etc.
Yikes. Are you Jewish?
>>I’m sorry I missed class 3!! What did we learn?
We learned that the 1st class was child’s play, and that our instructor is in very good shape. Oh yeah, and I learned not to eat a big breakfast one hour before class.
>>started an “Ossington Skipping Club”
Ha. Cool.
Thanks for stopping by Chomedyboy!
February 5, 2008 at 11:57 am
When bullied during one’s childhood and teenage years, many people find their own way to heal their traumas later on in life…Way to go, Avrum, for finding your way through boxing. Very brave of you.
Being myself, a former victim of bullying, mostly in high school, I believe that it’s no coincidence that I’ve become a school counselor who educates the bullies and the bullied about the dangers and teaches kids how to be assertive….Had I not been bullied in my own teenage years, who knows how effective I could be?!
February 5, 2008 at 12:33 pm
>>en bullied during one’s childhood and teenage years, many people find their own way to heal their traumas later on in life…
Until youtube and other online videos, I never realized how cruel teenage girls could be.
>>I believe that it’s no coincidence that I’ve become a school counselor who educates the bullies and the bullied about the dangers and teaches kids how to be assertive
Bingo. It’s my experience that therapists who experienced the same pain, and have worked through that pain, as their clients, are more effective than therapists who haven’t gone through a similar experience. I have no doubt you’re great at what you do. Stay safe Cig.